Connection
by Nightengale
Summary: Written for the LGBTfest over at LJ : Any job Alfred is assigned gets done no matter the means. He doesn’t have time for friends or lovers; he doesn’t think he needs either. The change comes when he meets Mani.


The first time Alfred was selected for the breeding program he was seventeen, just finishing his standard classes and graduating on to into the Psi Cop program. Prior to arranged marriages there were times when the Psi Corps would pair up youth to try and produce some high level telepaths. They told him as a P12 it was part of his duty to the Corps. Obviously Alfred agreed since it was for the Corps, the mother and the father.

Yin, with her short black cropped hair and stony expression, was a P11, three years his senior, and already moving her way through the administration ranks of the inner Corps. She clearly had a high level desk position in her sights and took hardly any notice of those around her unless they tried to block her path up.

When they were introduced by the breeding match coordinator he first noticed how her eyes burned with a desire to excel but her mind felt cold. The best way for a mundane to understand would be to think of it as a bear trap, polished and metal with sharp edges. It appeared to be pretty, well designed, but underneath was dangerous to those it was set against. He could feel her strong desire to be the very best she could with the abilities she had. It wasn't that she was brilliantly intelligent or extremely specialized in skill or talent. Simply she was ambitious. Yin wanted to reach as far as she could go and that was her only goal. It gave Al an instant headache to be in contact with her.

"Yin, this is your breeding partner, Alfred Bester," the man between them said. "Alfred this is Yin Chow."

They nodded curtly to each other and did not smile. He could feel her give him only a customary scan, obviously not caring much about him but only doing as she was instructed. Al could not help but want to push deeper into her. Past the barriers she put up to keep him out of her conscious thoughts and past the feeling of her overwhelming ambition, Al could feel resentment. She resented him because she was not a P12.

"The breeding will take place in a week," the man said nodding at Yin. "You will both have leave from your housing and will meet here at 2100"

"Yes, sir," they replied together.

Then all three went their separate ways with no further communication. Alfred was happy to be away, contact with Yin's mind set his teeth slightly on edge.

Months later the baby was born, a boy named Peng. Al was at the birth but never saw the child or Yin again after the event. He felt no connection to either of them and did not mourn the loss of contact. Al never really considered the idea of liking Yin in any romantic fashion since he first touched her mind. Years later he learned the boy was rated a P10, only a minor success in breeding for the Corps as they had certainly hoped for another P12.

-------------

The second time Alfred was selected for the breeding program was two years later. Paired up with him was a woman, definitely not a girl, named Kathryn Lee. She was much warmer than Yin, a mind like spring and a sound like laughter running through it. She was also a P12 and a year behind him in schooling.

"Nice to see I'm partnered with such a cutie," she said straight away making Alfred squirm internally.

Kathryn's mind was such an outgoing place. Her barriers were almost non-existent save for those which all teeps maintained for courtesy's sake to keep their every day thoughts from creating a deafening noise. She didn't object at all to Al's casual pushes and scans into her mind, in fact she nearly pulled him in. Soft edges and open spaces characterized Kathryn. Laughter seemed to echo through him when their minds met and he couldn't help but smile.

"May I call you Al?" She asked him.

He nodded back at her. "Kathryn… or?"

"I like Kathryn; I'm not really a Katie and Kate just feels prissy."

Her mind tinkled like bells, inviting feelings wafting through with memories of sky and tall grasses. She was friendly and kind with an interest in helping others. She wanted to work with teeps who had broken under the strain of their abilities and bring them back to health. Al liked her but was a little put off. She was so giving and open that it made him feel shuttered. He didn't like to let too much of himself out, didn't want to be an open book and kept most of his barriers up. Kathryn's pulls into her mind and pushes into his at times felt like an intrusion.

"Not quite right," she said to him as they walked down the hall after their first breeding match up.

"What?" he replied, looking at her in confusion.

Alfred couldn't tell what she meant. Her mind held a hint of sadness to it as if for something lost.

"You and I," she said, the back of her gloved hand brushing his.

"We're not quite right?"

She laughed. "No, well, yes. It's you and I, together. We're just not quite right."

Suddenly against the openness and fluidity of her mind he felt the walls and shadows of his own; dark corners hiding his growing callousness and locked doors hiding dead parents and a lonely life. He knew what she meant and the urge to back away over came him. Yet he knew there was more to him, wit and determination Kathryn could see. Her mind brought light into his dark corners but it couldn't knock down the doors or the walls, could not intertwine with him. He didn't want her to. They connected but it wasn't complete. He could be a mystery to her with his secrets and quiet ambition while she could bring a smile to him with her airy ways and open mind.

"Yes, I see," he replied.

"But it's not bad," Kathryn said suddenly taking his hand.

"No, not as such," Al replied trying to understand how she could live with her mind wide open.

"It won't ever be love," Kathryn said.

"Love?" Alfred replied.

Kathryn didn't say anything then, just looked away. For a moment he felt a door appear to somewhere yet unseen in her mind but it was gone before he could even tell what it meant.

When they were together for the breeding Kathryn put her hands on the sides of his face trying to center him, to figure him out but he wouldn't open up and couldn't really let go. Later he wished he would have opened up a bit for her and just didn't understand why he couldn't. However, it didn't take Al very long to decide that it didn't matter. He didn't need to open up because that was a weakness he could not afford.

------------------

At 25 Alfred is a young Psi Cop which brings with it the good and the bad. He is valued for his tight reflexes and fresh enthusiasm for the job. His personality of 'anything for the Corps' earns him a reputation of awe and sometimes fear. Any job he is assigned gets done in those early days no matter the means. He doesn't have time for friends or lovers; he doesn't think he needs either.

The change comes when he meets Mani.

The two P12s were paired up on an assignment to find a certain rogue telepath. At the time Al was working in the metasensory police section of the Psi Cops, dealing with psychic crimes. Mani was from intelligence, a bit hush hush which was no surprise really.

"Alfred Bester, Mani Thakur. Mani Thakur, Alfred Bester."

The two nodded at each other after the officer's words, silent apart from the customary introductory scan.

"You have two Bloodhounds assigned to you and all the information on the subject in question has been placed on this data crystal."

Mani held out a gloved hand for the data crystal but did not stop looking at Al. In turn Al could not stop staring back at Mani.

It was an instant connection of a kind he'd never felt before. Mani's mind felt, to put in the most basic terms, like the ocean. As he scanned Mani he did not feel threatened but he also knew there were boundaries, cool air and water mixed with so much underneath. There was commitment and pride combined with a thirst for knowledge and a growing interest in Al. Alfred found himself wanting to scan deeper, to see what was beyond the surface thoughts and feelings, what was beneath the ocean surface, what Mani held behind his blocks and walls. He could feel Mani pushing into his mind too, just a bit further than beyond normal politeness and a thrill ran through him.

"You train leaves at 14:00."

Breaking off, both Psi Cops acknowledged the officer then turned away, walking down the hall and outside.

"Mr. Thakur…" Al began but Mani spoke before he could continue.

"You may call me Mani."

Alfred smiled. "And I'm Al."

Cautiously, as they walked away from the operations building, Al scanned Mani's mind again. Mani was proud of his position in the intelligence section of the Psi Cops and enjoyed assignments which took him away from headquarters, a little hands on excitement. Al could feel that Mani had a generally pleasing nature, polite but hard line to the goals of the Corps just like him. As Mani scanned him back it felt like a hand caressing Al's cheek and he could not help but mentally lean into the feeling. Al felt a light laugh in his mind and Mani looked side long at him.

"Sirs."

They both stopped as their assigned Bloodhounds came up to them looking stony and blank. Alfred had never been fond of Bloodhounds. They were necessary assents to the work of the Corps but the minds of most Bloodhounds were fairly unimpressive and bland. They had one purpose, as the brute force to sniff out rouges and that was it.

"Your bags have been taken to the station and we are prepared to depart," the one on the left said.

Mani nodded and waved them ahead with a quick, precise gesture. The two walked smartly ahead as though they were in military formation. Al couldn't help but smirk slightly. Then Mani touched his shoulder with one hand drawing his attention.

Alfred felt cool days and fresh air with a sense of being in just the right place. Mani felt like a hand holding his as they scanned each other. Above it all Al suddenly felt, which he could not understand how he had missed before, the feeling that Mani liked him.

"Shall we?" Mani said.

Al just smiled quietly and they stepped forward together.

Their assignment, it turned out, was to locate a certain rouge telepath who was responsible for significant vandalism to a Psi Corps school and with likely connections to the rouge telepath underground in Vienna. They were to locate the rouge, gather whatever information from him they could about the underground in Vienna and return him for reeducation to the Psi Corps station in nearby Germany.

On the train Al perused the information about their target, Jason Matthews. He was only a P7 and shouldn't be too much trouble to find. Prior to his destruction of the Psi Corps school he had originally gone rouge after selling vital information about the new dust project to military opponents and was caught. Now he was on the run, causing trouble for the Corps as he went but not for long if Al had anything to say about it.

Just then the door to the cabin opened and Mani walked back in. Al had been so engrossed in his reading that he hadn't felt Mani coming; though it was also possible that Mani had wanted to sneak in on him and had been casting out only static. It was a thought that made Alfred slightly flustered in a pleasing way.

"I've sent the Bloodhounds on a standard survey of the train, just in case," Mani said as he sat down across from Al.

"Good idea," he replied putting his computer down beside him. "Give them something to do."

Mani chuckled. "I wasn't sure how long I could stand the feeling."

Al laughed as well. "Like a wall."

"A cement wall on top of your head."

They laughed together then gradually quieted. Al could feel Mani reaching out, scanning just a bit deeper than he had before, pushing against Al's blocks. With everyone else it felt like an intrusion but for some reason now with Mani his normal reaction of defense, of forcing the scan away, did not come. He wanted to let Mani in, to be connected. So, he let go.

Al saw Mani's face, smiling, receiving his Psi Cop certification. He saw Mani's first mentor, felt the adoration. He saw busy streets, foreign voices, a woman in a yellow dress falling, sudden fear, running, and then the rush of a first success. His own memories stirred and passed on, Psi Cop training, the strain of the testing and the pride of surpassing expectations. There was life growing up in the Psi Corps and the feeling of being the best of the best.

"You are a singular individual, Al," Mani said, his voice only adding a layer to the conversation.

"You are such…" Al began but his voice stopped as the hard feeling of the Bloodhounds' minds approached.

Mani and Al both snapped back and away from each other. It mentally stung Al as they did so and it wasn't until they pulled away that Alfred realized how far into each other they had gone. It excited and terrified him in the same instant.

There was a brief tap on the door and the two Bloodhounds came back in, seating themselves beside Mani and Al. Walls went back up and the passenger car was silent in all respects until they reached their destination.

Once in Vienna it took only two days to locate and capture Jason Matthews. Time on the run had worn him down and his psychic strength was pulled to the breaking point. Such strain made for easier detection and greater chance that the individual would make a mistake. Such was to the benefit of the two Psi Cops.

"Jason," Mani said as the Bloodhounds mentally held the rouge down in addition to his hands cuffed to a chair. "Beyond your espionage and your own meager attempts at destruction we know you are involved with the underground."

"Twinkle, twinkle little star…"

"You should know by now that such tactics will not work on us," Al said calmly as he circled the man. "We can break in if we have to."

"How I wonder…"

Mani stepped forward staring hard at Jason. "Tell us your contacts and this can be far less painful for you."

"What you are!" the volume of Jason's voice went up. "Up above the world so…"

"We are giving you one last chance," Al said, standing behind Jason with Mani on the other side and the Bloodhounds still holding fast. "Tell us your underground contacts."

"Above the… world so high…. Like…"

"Fine," Mani said.

At once they both ripped into Jason's mind, their combined force pushing past the tricks and mental blocks to the memory within. Jason groaned in pain, straining against the cuffs on his wrists. Al saw only ghostly images, a side street somewhere, and a brief flash of woman's face and red hair.

"Twinkle…. Little… oh god!"

Al pushed in deeper and saw a dark room, faces, and explosive charges on a table. He felt Mani tear past a block. Jason suddenly screamed and groaned, falling unconscious. Al's eyes flicked up to connect with Mani's.

"Well?" Al said.

Mani nodded with a satisfied smile. "Three names."

Al smiled back. "Perfect." Then he glanced at the Bloodhounds at either wall. "Take him to the Psi Corps station in the Innere Stadt district. They can deliver him to Berlin."

"Yes, sir," one replied and they hoisted Jason off the floor by his arms, dragging him away.

"Well done, Mr. Thakur," Al said with a sly smile.

"And you, Mr. Bester."

The train which would take them back Psi Corps headquarters was scheduled to leave the following morning so the four telepaths returned to their hotel for the night, the Bloodhounds in one room, Al and Mani in another. Al gave the Bloodhounds instructions to check with the Berlin station to be assured that the processing of Jason Matthews went without problems first thing in the morning. Then all parties retired to their rooms for the night.

Closing the door to their hotel room, Al turned to find Mani looking at him intently. Al took three more steps into the room so he was standing close to Mani but not touching. Mani took a deep breath, hands at his sides.

"I like you," he said softly.

The vocalization was unnecessary, however, because Al could feel it far more clearly than any words could express. Mani was casting the feeling out like a flag in the wind and Al only wanted to grasp on to it, wrap himself up in the desire, such a perfect connection. Slowly, Mani brought his hands up, taking off first his left glove and then his right, putting them down on the table against the wall. Then he reached out and grasped Al's hands, taking off both his gloves, and dropping them on the table. Entwining their fingers, he reaching out with his mind.

A shock ran through Al with the sudden rush of Mani's thoughts and feelings encircling his mind and mixing with his own.

"Oh…" he breathed out, unable to keep it all inside.

The touch was so deep, so personal that he understood more than ever why all teeps must wear gloves. It was a feeling so close to everything of who he was that he could not imagine the kind of violation an accidental touch could cause. Maybe it was because they were both P12s that the feeling was so powerful but even through all of his Psi Corps training days and his previous breeding match ups nothing had felt like this before.

_Mani…oh, Mani…_

Al felt hope and pride, so much pride, with loss. Living with his parents in Delhi, the India Gate, the Lotus temple, being so small on busy streets. Bright lights, his mother's pink sari that was her favorite. Eight years old, his teep powers awakening in a crowded shopping center, the sudden shock and pain and fear at what was happening. Being taken from his parents and then new birth as a child of the Corps. Pride in what he was; desire to be recognized, to make a name for himself. Hope of happiness with a small ripple of anger.

They spun around and Al felt himself. The Corps as home and prison when he was young, not knowing any other sort of life, only one kind of sky for so long. Cadre Prime, standing as a living statue with his school mates throwing things at him, the shame, the desire to never be wrong. Yin and Kathryn, the miss matches, the miss steps, the idea of never letting his guard down. Pride in who he was that he was good, the best, a Psi Cop, a P12, the top. Hope of happiness with a small ripple of fear.

Al suddenly let go with one hand, cupping the side of Mani's face and drawing him close, kissing him. Mani pressed his body against Al and kissed him back, hand grasping tighter onto Al's.

This wasn't how Alfred acted, sudden and soon and rash. Yet nothing could have stopped him, nothing could have told him that this connection, this harmony with Mani was wrong. They just fit.

As they kissed the feeling only grew, emotions swirling together and wrapping around each other. They tore at each others clothes as though these were their last moments and nothing could happen fast enough. As Mani pushed Al down onto one bed, bare hands on bare skin, bare minds melted together; a prefect fit, like puzzle pieces or any ridiculous metaphor one could think of to show a connection that could not be forced only found. Every touch was two fold from one set of finger tips to the other's body and back around again in a circle. Together they could feel each other's desire, their pleasure, their comfort and above all the amazing realization that their two minds connected like no one's before.

Al awoke to a song of Mani. He felt gentle waves of sleeping at the edges of his senses, quiet breath, and feeling of comfort. Opening his eyes without moving Al saw Mani curled around him on the too small bed, one arm across Al's chest and his forehead against Al's cheek. His left arm was prickling where it was caught under Mani but Al had no real desire to move.

Looking at the clock, he saw that it was early still, just 06:24 in the morning. Their train was leaving at 08:30 and the station wasn't far. They had time.

"Stop thinking about the time," Mani said next to him.

Al chuckled. "I was just looking."

It was like a game. You could say the opposite because the other knew the truth for sure; the joys of being a telepath.

"Close your eyes," Mani said. "We can lie here a little longer before we have to be Corps members again..."

"For now it's just us," Al replied, continuing Mani's thought out loud.

Mani's arm tightened around him and Al slid back into him, eyes closing into sleep as if he hadn't even been awake.

Yet only half an hour later they were up, uniforms back on and the duty of a Psi Cop back in place. Picking up the Bloodhounds, all four headed to the train station and back to Psi Corps. On the train when the Bloodhounds were sent out to patrol, Al sat beside Mani and held his hand, gloves put to the side and minds joined.

Back at Psi Corps they gave their report and were both sent their separate ways. Al didn't realize how empty he would feel, how quiet it would be with Mani gone.

They were paired up for missions twice more a few months apart after the first assignment. Each time they worked together with ease and it was heaven when they were alone. Until the last time they saw each other when Mani said:

"I've been reassigned to Mars."

A year and a half later Mani was killed in an explosion caused by the Free Mars resistance and another dark shadow formed in Alfred's mind, hidden from view from everyone but him.


End file.
